Last Thursday, the 3rd, on the way to work on my motorcycle like I always do for the past seven years or so, a carpool lane violator I was attempting to lane-share past did not see me in their blind spot, knocking me and the bike over to the ground at at least 60 miles per hour, causing the bike and I to slide across two lanes to our right, right in front of dense traffic heading into the toll gate of the San Mateo Bridge.
As I slid, I just kept thinking to myself, "Shit! I'm going to get run over! I've going to get run over!"
I didn't, and when I had stopped sliding, I popped myself back up to my feet and ran to my bike to pick it up, and push it out of traffic's way. The driver that hit me was also able to (and thankfully!) pull over, and rushed over to me to help me pick up my bike, as I was still lacking strength from being so winded. We managed to get out of traffic's way, and I tried to calm myself down to better assess my physical and mental state, all the while telling the driver to also calm down as he was REALLY shaken up over what happened. Apologetic, catatonic, and extremely remorseful, even so far admitting that he neglected to look over his shoulder when he wanted to get out of the carpool lane. Had he done so, he would have no doubt seen me attempting to pass him, and none of this would have happened.
I took stock of myself, then took stock of my bike. As he pleaded for me to allow him to pay me directly for damages he caused, citing his suspended drivers license he had been paying towards and was due to be released in a few weeks, as well as having no insurance for the car he had just recently bought, I tried to make an informed decision as best I can, to either file a police report and claim through my Uninsured Motorist coverage policy for the bike, or let the driver pay me directly. At the time, it was still before operating hours for my insurance agent, so I asked him to follow me back to my house as I was going to ride my bike home, and he complied. He proceeded to stay with me for 2-3 hours after the incident.
In my line of work as an analyst, it's my job to take account of every information from all parties involved to come up with the most reasonable and fair order out of a disagreement. While the driver stayed with me, I proceeded to ask him all there was to know about his current circumstances and his household. He's a legal resident, but his license is suspended from amassing unpaid petty tickets when he was younger, for which he has been paying on ever since. Unmarried, but lives with his partner and their three biological children, the 2nd child handicapped from being deaf. His partner also works full-time like he, but their combined disposable income is about as much as what mine alone is. They rent an apartment, and in fact lives not too far from me in the neighboring city. He had $1000 in cash he could withdraw that day to give me to start with, but if I filed a claim with my insurance, they will need all of the drivers identifying information that I had so they can go after him, no doubt contacting all related agencies for the driver's multiple violations (driving with a suspended license, no insurance, carpool violation, etc.).
I hit the deck hard, but I've had harder crashes than that. I knew I was going to be sore for the next couple of days, but otherwise fine. I told him that to protect myself, I'd need to speak with my insurance about my coverage, as well as my doctor for their consultation. He understood, and so I agreed to let him go to work (he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid), taking $1000 in cash from him as a deposit until I can speak with both my insurance and doctor, so that he and I can negotiate a settlement. An hour after he left, insurance called me and confirmed the amount I could be entitled to for damages to my bike. I then saw my doctor to advise her of my accident, but she allowed me to "sleep it off," and see how I feel the next coming days.
Ultimately, I agreed for him to pay me for damages to my bike. It has been a bit of a controversial decision with people who know me, as some understandably feel that I should file a police report and claim with insurance, and punish the driver at the fullest extent of the law. I cannot argue with that logic, as it is logical, and had my circumstances been more dire and serious as a result of the accident, I probably would've done just that. But all things considered when it could've been a lot worse, it wasn't, and so I feel that being as civil as possible, especially with a guilty party who's just as willing to right the wrong he did, is the best solution to come up with. I don't think I can have it in my conscience to punish a man who made mistakes at the expense of the man's entire household. I walked away from a serious accident, while the driver is not only fiscally punished, but will have the memory of seeing me sliding on the roadway with oncoming traffic bearing down on me burned to his memory. It is my hope that that memory will serve him to no longer make the mistakes he made that day, and I am content with that.
Now, what does this have to do about being the happiest I can ever be?
Well, on that same unfortunate morning, as the driver had me in his car while we went to his bank to withdraw his cash deposit, I got the final word from my real estate agent that we have officially closed escrow in a regular saw of the house I owned with my sisters.
This is the house that I have owned with my sisters for almost ten years. It hasn't been easy keeping it afloat, especially in the last few years. I haven't even lived in it in over three years now. We gave up on it, ready to short sale.
As of that same morning, we closed escrow on it's regular sale, even netting us a few pennies. More importantly though, it's a huge monkey off our shoulders, the world's weight gone, King Kong off our backs. I finally feel like I can be the husband and father to my wife and daughter respectively, COMPLETELY.
I lost a battle to a car that morning, but I finally won years of war. Not only did I, once again, get a new lease on life, but I do so with the cleanest slate possible.
A man in my position cannot afford to be anything but appreciative of it all.
