Take a Breath

 As often as I do/work trackdays, fact is, it can be a few weeks in between trackdays. What this usually means for me is that it takes me a number of laps, maybe a couple of sessions or so to get up to speed out on the track, picking up where I last left off. As much street riding I do, whether commuting or weekend jaunts, it doesn't really help hold me over in between trackdays, since my street riding is a far cry from my track riding; I don't ride the street like the track, and vice versa.

No matter. I don't mind the first few laps or sessions to get back up to speed. It's a necessary evil. When I finally do get up to speed though, it usually creeps up on me in the sense that it just happens.

There is usually a giveaway though, and that's my knee dragging.

There isn't a right or wrong way to position your body on the bike (for the most part). The first and foremost rule is that you be comfortable on top of your bike, and moving on and off it. My body position (BP) on my bike doesn't usually find me dragging knee through corners; I can go through a whole day of track riding without dragging my knees. When my knees do touch the pavement though, then I know I've started to go faster, picking up the pace, and getting that much closer to my limit. This is the main purpose of my BP - to actually utilize my knees as a gauge for my pace, and thus the limit. Dragging knee through a corner or two isn't usually a sign that I've picked up the pace, only perhaps through those corners. But during a session when I find myself dragging knee corner after corner, then that's when I know.

I've upped my pace.

So I pull into the paddock immediately.

Why do I do that?

I need to take a breath. I need to collect myself even during the times when I'm at my best, when I've got it going good. I want to make sure that I take the upward trend that I find myself in, take that momentum and build from it rather than crash and burn (so to speak).

Another of my survival instincts?
Most definitely.



Even when ascending, don't lose sight of where you've been.





I've been riding on a wave of highs lately in and out of motorcycling, and it's been awhile since I've had a windfall that's blown for this long. So much so, that I'm sometimes left not knowing  what to do with this good fortune, where to go from here, or simply where to begin to continue with this momentum.

So I feel it apt to take a breather, to remember where I've been before getting here, to help me best figure out where to go moving forward. Figure out how to build from here.

The thing with feeling like you're on top of the world is that the stakes are higher. If you lose focus and get caught up in the fun of it all, you could be looking at a very long way down from where you are.

Felicisima Cunanan

Hi Grandma.

I want you to know that I did not, and that I am not grieving after you decided to remain in slumber. Mom told me that the last time she saw you, you told her how tired you are. I can't imagine how tired you must have been, but I can believe it.

The things you must have seen and experienced in your 93 years of living, after numerous children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and so forth that you looked over as one of our family tree's deepest roots. Even when Grandpa took his rest you remained with us. Oh how much you must have missed the love of your life in the proceeding days, the strength and fortitude you must have had to muster in the decades to stay with us so that my generation and those that came after would know the living history that begotten us all.

You deserve your rest. You have spent your whole life enduring enough for us, and so I cannot mourn that which you have rightfully earned.

But I do want to thank you, with all of my heart, for staying long enough for me to see my own daughter lay her eyes upon you, for her to have felt your touch, to have heard your voice and laughter sharing one afternoon together. I don't know if you would have remembered that, or if my daughter will remember it, but I want you to know that I will never forget it. I want you to know that I am eternally grateful that you have allowed me to have the memory of seeing where I came from, come face to face with where my future lies.

Thank you for enduring long enough to let me have this.

Love,

"Tarat"

I Must Be Solar-Powered...

...because my best just isn't there unless the sun is.

I was back at Sonoma Raceway on the 21st, for Z2 Trackday's last Sonoma event for the 2013. I've had over a week of rest since the Laguna Seca double-header on the 12th and 13th, and I was really looking forward to a more low-key trackday to work as Grid and Recovery. Then again, you just never know what can happen in any given trackday, so I was, as usual, prepared for the worst.

Fortunately, forecast for the day showed highs up in the high-70's, knocking on 80 degrees. Unfortunately, the first half of the day was spent under heavy fog that took its time to burn off. The fog was so heavy in the first session of the day, that I was genuinely surprised that riders still went out to do their sessions when I could barely see the end of the back straight where I normally could. Brave souls, I tell you. The sun did break through well before the lunch hour, and only continued to burn off the fog to reveal clear skies for the rest of the day without one presence of a cloud. Better late than never! And as a welcome reprieve from the eventful Laguna Seca weekend, I only went out ONCE to pick up a bike and move it out of the track's impact zone, despite the handful or so of track incidents.

What's with the entry title though?

Well, in the fog-laden morning, I did go out and ride the track, cautious and conservatively as I tried to gauge the grip available from the pavement. Despite appearances, the track actually had good grip in spite of the heavy fog hanging low over it. There were at least a couple of riders out on track that flew past me like it was nothing, pushing their tires a lot harder than I was willing to given the conditions, yet their tires stuck like glue and their machines went through corners as if on rails. That's scenery I'm used to in dry, clear, and sunny days, but not in that morning. Now typically, after seeing that I might just have been overly cautious and conservative, I would've just said to myself, "Well there you go, you can push it after all!" That morning however, I couldn't.

Then I've come to realize what hindered me out on track; I didn't have the mental fortitude to see past appearances despite first-hand experience.

he darker the gray pavement, the less grip I attribute to it despite actual grip available, and therefore I could not get myself to run the pace I would otherwise be able to. If it's foggy or overcast, or just generally lacking the presence of the sun, it's not dry to me, therefore - yet again - less grip. Truth be told, my tires didn't even slide or provide any feedback that would make me think there was no grip, but I still could not get over my mental block, which I think is a lot harder to get over than a physical limitation. It’s your survival instinct. Have you ever tried rewiring it?

The irony in doing it is you just have to be pragmatic about it, and take that leap of faith. Easier said than done.

Eventually, the sun did come out to bask us for the rest (and most) of the day, and just like that, I was back to full form, riding the bike around the track like know how.

My survival instinct simply likes it sunny.

3rd Annual Yamaha Owner's Appreciation Days

In 2012, practically to the month and date, was when Z2 Trackdays asked me to join their crew. In 2011, the event was my makeshift bachelor party, as I married my wife three days later. This marks my 3rd year in attendance, but my first time working the event instead of attending as a customer.

I wasn't sure how this year could be more memorable than the first two, but you know what, I decided that if it couldn't, that maybe it would be for the best. :)

The event didn't go without trying to make an impression on me though.

This event was so popular, that as soon as registration opened up, it sold out within the hour, each of the four groups available racking up their own waitlist for both days. What this meant that people signed up for any group they could find an opening in, whether or not it was the appropriate group for them.

Net result?

A good amount of speed and skill deficit out on the track.

Fortunately, the track ambulance parked by us at the grid never left their spot throughout the weekend, meaning that despite the number of incidents, every rider was able to drive themselves home like they arrived.

The physical toll on me though was unprecedented - I am TIRED. With all the crashes, mechanicals, running out of fuel, etc. that occurred, the rest of the grid crew and myself were tested in making sure we kept the track downtime to a minimum, as we planned out every rider and bike recovery out on the track.

Z2 Trackdays is due back in Sonoma in a week's time, and this will be a much-needed week's of rest I intend to use up.

All the Yamaha Owners who attended the event better have been appreciative alright!

You Will Never Find a Man as Happy as I Was After Being Hit by a Car

Last Thursday, the 3rd, on the way to work on my motorcycle like I always do for the past seven years or so, a carpool lane violator I was attempting to lane-share past did not see me in their blind spot, knocking me and the bike over to the ground at at least 60 miles per hour, causing the bike and I to slide across two lanes to our right, right in front of dense traffic heading into the toll gate of the San Mateo Bridge.

As I slid, I just kept thinking to myself, "Shit! I'm going to get run over! I've going to get run over!"

I didn't, and when I had stopped sliding, I popped myself back up to my feet and ran to my bike to pick it up, and push it out of traffic's way. The driver that hit me was also able to (and thankfully!) pull over, and rushed over to me to help me pick up my bike, as I was still lacking strength from being so winded. We managed to get out of traffic's way, and I tried to calm myself down to better assess my physical and mental state, all the while telling the driver to also calm down as he was REALLY shaken up over what happened. Apologetic, catatonic, and extremely remorseful, even so far admitting that he neglected to look over his shoulder when he wanted to get out of the carpool lane. Had he done so, he would have no doubt seen me attempting to pass him, and none of this would have happened.

I took stock of myself, then took stock of my bike. As he pleaded for me to allow him to pay me directly for damages he caused, citing his suspended drivers license he had been paying towards and was due to be released in a few weeks, as well as having no insurance for the car he had just recently bought, I tried to make an informed decision as best I can, to either file a police report and claim through my Uninsured Motorist coverage policy for the bike, or let the driver pay me directly. At the time, it was still before operating hours for my insurance agent, so I asked him to follow me back to my house as I was going to ride my bike home, and he complied. He proceeded to stay with me for 2-3 hours after the incident.

In my line of work as an analyst, it's my job to take account of every information from all parties involved to come up with the most reasonable and fair order out of a disagreement. While the driver stayed with me, I proceeded to ask him all there was to know about his current circumstances and his household. He's a legal resident, but his license is suspended from amassing unpaid petty tickets when he was younger, for which he has been paying on ever since. Unmarried, but lives with his partner and their three biological children, the 2nd child handicapped from being deaf. His partner also works full-time like he, but their combined disposable income is about as much as what mine alone is. They rent an apartment, and in fact lives not too far from me in the neighboring city. He had $1000 in cash he could withdraw that day to give me to start with, but if I filed a claim with my insurance, they will need all of the drivers identifying information that I had so they can go after him, no doubt contacting all related agencies for the driver's multiple violations (driving with a suspended license, no insurance, carpool violation, etc.).

I hit the deck hard, but I've had harder crashes than that. I knew I was going to be sore for the next couple of days, but otherwise fine. I told him that to protect myself, I'd need to speak with my insurance about my coverage, as well as my doctor for their consultation. He understood, and so I agreed to let him go to work (he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid), taking $1000 in cash from him as a deposit until I can speak with both my insurance and doctor, so that he and I can negotiate a settlement. An hour after he left, insurance called me and confirmed the amount I could be entitled to for damages to my bike. I then saw my doctor to advise her of my accident, but she allowed me to "sleep it off," and see how I feel the next coming days.

Ultimately, I agreed for him to pay me for damages to my bike. It has been a bit of a controversial decision with people who know me, as some understandably feel that I should file a police report and claim with insurance, and punish the driver at the fullest extent of the law. I cannot argue with that logic, as it is logical, and had my circumstances been more dire and serious as a result of the accident, I probably would've done just that. But all things considered when it could've been a lot worse, it wasn't, and so I feel that being as civil as possible, especially with a guilty party who's just as willing to right the wrong he did, is the best solution to come up with. I don't think I can have it in my conscience to punish a man who made mistakes at the expense of the man's entire household. I walked away from a serious accident, while the driver is not only fiscally punished, but will have the memory of seeing me sliding on the roadway with oncoming traffic bearing down on me burned to his memory. It is my hope that that memory will serve him to no longer make the mistakes he made that day, and I am content with that.



Now, what does this have to do about being the happiest I can ever be?

Well, on that same unfortunate morning, as the driver had me in his car while we went to his bank to withdraw his cash deposit, I got the final word from my real estate agent that we have officially closed escrow in a regular saw of the house I owned with my sisters.

This is the house that I have owned with my sisters for almost ten years. It hasn't been easy keeping it afloat, especially in the last few years. I haven't even lived in it in over three years now. We gave up on it, ready to short sale.

As of that same morning, we closed escrow on it's regular sale, even netting us a few pennies. More importantly though, it's a huge monkey off our shoulders, the world's weight gone, King Kong off our backs. I finally feel like I can be the husband and father to my wife and daughter respectively, COMPLETELY.

I lost a battle to a car that morning, but I finally won years of war. Not only did I, once again, get a new lease on life, but I do so with the cleanest slate possible.

A man in my position cannot afford to be anything but appreciative of it all.