Year of the Philippines - Pasalubong

This entry has been stalled for a couple of months now. Actually, longer. When I came back from my trip to the Philippines, I didn't want to write about it right away. I wanted for time to pass until I was back from one of the most profound adventures I have undertaken. So I started writing this in July.

But I had so much to write about trying to describe the experience that I couldn't put into words as I was experiencing it, I had to stop in the midst of the entry to come back and finish it. I couldn't finish it in one sitting. That was back on July 20th.

Well it's actually September now with me writing this. And I scrapped everything I had written previously. It dawned on me how futile it is to put into words what I already deemed indescribable. It was a complete emotional journey for me, emotions that I don't think I'll ever forget, and so I won't need a transcription to remind me of it time and again.

I'll never forget it.

So instead, I'll just immortalize the few photos I took during the trip at random, for what's a photo worth anyway if not a thousand words?

 

Year of the Philippines - Of Nostalgia

"I didn't realize you were so nostalgic."

Said my oldest sister to me not too long ago, just days before I booked my flight to the Philippines. She remarked that during a discussion we were having as to why I felt so compelled to make my trip back to the Philippines in my terms; no balikbayan boxes, no plans to travel within the country, for just a duration of barely a week.

I'll admit, my terms are unorthodox. I'm well aware that when Filipinos go back to the homeland, it's to enjoy the fruits of their labor having gone overseas. With the USD perpetually strong against the PHP, it also makes it more than feasible to truly enjoy what the country has to offer now that Filipinos who have gone abroad can afford it. And the balikbayan boxes, filled with gifts for friends and family that remained in the country are further testimony to that, as well as a token of appreciation for those we love but left behind. I'm well aware of these conventions, but my trip isn't conventional.

I am a nostalgic person. I've always been, or why else would I be up-keeping online journals for over a decade now (well before I even got paid to)?

Call it nostalgia, call it dwelling, call it a practice in narcissism - I don't care what it is and what we ought to call it. I appreciate where I've been and where I've come from. I write my blog for me to re-read time and time again for a look back into the years I've left behind and the things that I've done. They remind me of how far I've come and in some ways, push me to keep going and keep reaching further and farther in the days ahead of me. They remind me of what I've accomplished now, by offering a peak into where I used to be and what I used to have a month, a year, maybe five years prior. Sometimes what I accomplish now feels so perfunctory in the moment, that it takes reading something I wrote before to realize that I used to hope to achieve what I just did. Looking back at my life before helps me to appreciate where I am now even more.

This trip of mine back to the Philippines is just one big look back at my past. I may not have written about it anywhere - not online or on paper - but it remains etched in my memory to this day. I left the country when I was thirteen years old. That's thirteen years of vivid memories that have remained with me and they are so palpable I can still see everyone and everywhere that I grew up with, even twenty years since I left them all.

I want to see how much everything I still remember has changed. I want to stand across the street from the house I lived in and see for myself if it's any different, and whether or not my connection to it is still there. I want to juxtapose everything I saw with my child eyes to what I'll see with my adult eyes now and realize not just how far everything I remember has come, but how far I'Ve come as well. My childhood in the Philippines has had a major influence in my values now as an adult in the US, and though I may have shunned a lot of traditional Filipino values, there is a lot in my core beliefs that have been founded from my time growing up in the Philippines. I'm not a rich man because of money, but I am because I live a life so charmed I couldn't even dare dream to be living it while growing up in the Philippines.

So even if there will be a disconnect now between myself and what I remember once I return, I am forever grateful for having spent the first crucial years of my life where I did. Because my time back in the Philippines whenever I look back on it makes me thoroughly appreciate all and everything I have in my life now.

My time in the Philippines was the most important thirteen years written in my head, and it's about time I go and have a look back.

Year of the Philippines

I'm going to keep this short, but it probably won't be because it's me trying to keep it short. (See?)

I'm still in slight disbelief that in seven days, I am finally returning to my birth country, the first time I get to since leaving it twenty years ago. Two decades ago. That's how long it's taken me to make this trip happen, and it's not by intent or for a lack of trying to do it sooner, but somehow my circumstances in the last twenty years just never found me making this trip happen.

But I am now.

To this day, remains the only stamp in either of my passports.

At the realization earlier this year that 2015 marks two full decades since I left, I just cannot keep this trip waiting for me to make it happen, even if I am probably at my least able to make this trip happen now. I have children now - a toddler and an infant - that I'll be leaving with my wife to take care of for the ten days I'm gone. No, they're not coming with me, not for this trip. Even the concept of that is unheard of for any married, family man. But this is how I need to do this trip. By myself, and in just ten days.

Typically when Filipinos return to the Philippines after being abroad for a number of years, it's for the balikbayan experience, complete with balikbayan boxes filled with gifts for family and friends still remaining in the Philippines.

But not my trip. Not this trip of mine.

This lone and short trip of mine is strictly for the purposes of finally returning home for so long, and to simply walk that very long lane inhabited by my memory.

Memories of my childhood in Philippines remain with me, and I have been waiting for this chance to reconcile it with the reality of the country now, twenty years later. Everyone who has gone back and forth to the Philippines - be it friends or family - in the last twenty years always tell me how much everything has changed. Each time they do, I'm left wanting to see just how myself. Even worse, I get mad at myself listening to friends' trip to my home country, when they weren't even born there. So why haven't I returned to my native land? There are reasons, but no excuse really.

That is all about to change now though, finally. Now I get to go, and my excitement is dwarfed only by my relief that now, I finally get to.

Putting my US Passport to use before it expires next year.

This has been a long time coming, and it's now coming.

Absent, But Not Silent

I've been more absent in this personal blog of mine than ever before, but really, it's not for a dwindling interest in blogging, or content to even write about. On the contrary, I've been at my most prolific since becoming a paid blogger over at RiderzLaw.com, and if anything, I take blogging more seriously now than ever before.

What suffers then is my upkeep of this personal blog of mine, which even if this is where my moto-blogging adventures really started, has now taken a backseat to my blogging work over at RL. I suppose I could just copy and paste everything I submit to RL, but why be redundant?

Personally, it's enough for me that my thoughts and words exist somewhere, not necessarily everywhere.

At Thunderhil​l Raceway, May 2014 - Progress (Report)

This last time out in Thunderhill Raceway was my second time back on it on my 2002 R1, since bringing it out of retirement from the track after selling my 2007 R1.

During my last Thunderhill outing, I surprised even myself when I managed to turn in laps on the 2002 R1 in my first trackday back on it, that were knocking on my personal best that took me all of last year to achieve on the 2007 R1. I had been looking forward to this return to Thunderhill, as I wanted to know if I can build on the great start I had with my return to the bike I’ve been most familiar with.

There have also have been changes to the bike itself since the last time out. The bodywork swap itself isn’t much of a difference in weight, but no longer needing things like the headlight and taillight meant that some discernible weight was shed. Where weight-shedding that really matters occurred though was at the wheels; whereas I used to run the OEM cast aluminum wheels for my track tires, this time I opted to finally run my Marchesini forged aluminum wheels at the track, which are lighter and stronger than their cast aluminum counterparts.

As I always do during a trackday, I spent the first few sessions of the day getting up to speed to the track again. Thunderhill Raceway’sTurn 3 had actually been recently repaved, and so had to be a throw-away corner for the day as it offered questionable grip since its repave just the night before.

The shakedown sessions also allowed me to come to grips with the new behavior my motorcycle was exhibiting, which all could be attributed to my lighter wheels. Because the engine had lighter rotating mass to drive in the rear, the bike was accelerating quicker, hitting the rev-limiter sooner than I’ve been accustomed to. I had to adjust my shifting plans I’ve long adopted, as I now find myself needing to shift up to one more gear during acceleration, before I can get to my next corner’s braking marker.

And speaking of braking, while it’s never been a strong suit of mine out on the track, I felt as if I was also conquering this shortcoming this time out. Much like the engine able to spin the lighter rear wheel faster, my brakes also had less rotating mass to stop from the front wheel. This meant that I was able to brake later than I usually do, and stop in shorter distances. A couple of occasions I found myself lifting the rear wheel off the ground as I braked for a corner (Turn 14), which was not something I could/would typically do. I may have looked more chaotic than I normally would, but it was controlled chaos from where I was.

By the second half of the trackday after lunch, I felt I was acclimated to my bike’s new behavior, and the track condition had been stable, so it was time to run my lap timer to see where we were at. Though I had been running in the Advanced Group for the day, it was one of our most packed trackdays as far as attendance, so there was still traffic to negotiate, but at least the speed delta was not too bad.

I turned on my lap time and did a session. There was some traffic to be negotiated, but none too troublesome. When I returned to the pits at the end of my session and checked on my times, hoping to be where I left off three months ago, I was pleasantly surprised:

I did pick up right where I last left off, but even better, I bested my new personal best overall!

But before the day was over, I had a feeling I could even go faster for the day. It was a Friday trackday before a club racing weekend, so a lot of fast club racers were in attendance using the day for practice. Even the fastest of the fast racers were there in my group, as they would come flying past me out on the track. I devised a plan to be able to get a tow from them; I couldn’t just follow them right out of the grid, as their warm-up lap would be blazingly faster than mine. But if I could start my warm-up lap as they would be halfway done with theirs, they should be caught up to me just as I’ve finished warming up, and can therefore turn in my hot laps. This meant that by the time they came to pass me, I can comfortably push to try and stay with them.

And it worked, having timed it perfectly, they passed me one at a time, and though each one would pull away after passing me, they would be within my sight for a corner or two, allowing me to replicate their lines and approach. By the time one fast guy was too far out, another had passed me to give me a tow. For about a lap and half or two, I had numerous fast guys to follow in the different sectors of the track.

When I pulled into the pits and checked my lap timer, my jaw dropped.

A 2:05 lap time is the fastest I’ve ever gone around Thunderhill Raceway – I have a new personal best! I would’ve been fine with and only expected incremental improvements on this bike since returning it to the track, but I’m making leaps and bounds! I don’t know if I can get to lap times of 2:00 flat around Thunderhill Raceway before this season’s over, and I certainly did not set such a goal for myself and the bike this year.

But that is what I have my sights set on now.

There is just nothing quite like riding on something you have full confidence and comfort in to do what you want to do, when you want to.

Blacked Out

It's a new chapter with my R1.

Of course it had to have a new look!

Quitting Street Sport Riding (expounding)

Fitting track tires tot he R1 for the last time, indefinitely.

Following one of my latest entries when I wrote about hanging up street sport riding on my R1, I thought I’d just expound on that decision since writing it over a week ago. Understandably, one could think that I may have acted (or reacted) rather cavalier over something that has been a very integral part of my life – enjoying spirited sport riding in some of Northern California’s best motorcycle roads – that maybe I should’ve given myself a day or two after the incident before I decided on how the experience should’ve impacted me. Admittedly, the next few days after the incident, I was extremely distracted, finding myself going by my day-to-day tasks like a functioning junkie – I was present, but not really.

But to be honest, a week later and I’m still at peace with the decision that I made.

Those that know me know that I’ve always intended to “ride my R1 to the ground.” Even for all the blood, sweat, and tears I’ve put to turn my R1 into the bike that I would gladly retire in my living room, I never did have the heart to not ride it, so I decided that the only way I would retire it was if something so catastrophic happened to it, that I would be better off turning it into my living room trophy. It just so happens that no matter how many times the bike and I have hit the deck – and there have been quite a few – the bike just keeps getting back up with me, ready for more.

But what if I never get to ride the R1 to the ground? What if I end up riding myself to the ground first?

It was a profound experience to have looked over a fallen rider, myself standing over them in my own riding gear. It was a snapshot, a reflection of what could be the only thing left for me if I continued on with what I was doing. Because for all the experience, abilities, and skills I have in operating my sport machine on the street, and even if my spirited pace on public roads isn’t even half of what I do on a racetrack, the fact that I have been able to ride away and come home from the accidents I’ve had can only be pinned down to one resounding fact:

Luck.

That’s all I’ve been – lucky.

Everybody has made and will make mistakes on a motorcycle. But on the street, it isn’t necessarily the mistake that can hurt you – it’s what could be out there waiting for your mistake. If it isn’t an oncoming vehicle, perhaps it’s a guard-rail. If it’s not a guard-rail, then it could be a tree. If it’s not a tree, it could very well be a steep ravine to fall into. And believe me, I’ve known of riders passing away due to every one of those things I’ve written.

I’ve even known of riders who got killed for NOT making a mistake – they were simply a victim of someone else’s mistake.

At Sonoma Raceway on the 20th; if not out on a racetrack, the R1 will be garaged.

By all means, I’m not trying to discourage anyone from riding the street, spirited or otherwise, and even I’m not swearing off street riding entirely, just on this R1. This is a personal decision that only I will live with, and it may not even be something I can live with for long.

Either way, I’m at peace now.